An open letter of apology to Albert Gore, Jr.….
Dear Mr. Vice-President,
I should never have doubted you. You said that you would put an end to Global Warming if it took until your last dying breath. I laughed. I never believed in the whole “Man Made Global Warming” thing. I chuckled at Earth in the Balance and I nearly laughed my ass off at An Inconvenient Truth. I didn’t believe a word you uttered. Well, I do now. You have proved that Global Warming was man-made to me beyond a shadow of a doubt. It had to be man-made, otherwise, how could one man have acted so decisively to end it?
As I said, I should never have doubted you. I apologize. I’m not sure how you did it but you kept your promise and put the issue to rights. As I write this, it is 21 degrees here in Raleigh, North Carolina, and is forecast to go as low as 9 degrees Fahrenheit this very night.
I shall doubt your prowess no more. You have flipped the switch and turned off our perilous meltdown into an ashen future. I congratulate you, Sir! You have turned off Global Warming.
NOW TURN IT BACK ON AND GET YOUR F#&%ING HAND OFF THE SWITCH!!!
I’M FREEZING MY ASS OFF.